Category: people

quizzicalcontent:

“I shit on my neighbor’s door-step.”

So back when I was 10, my dad asked me if I wanted to make 20$. I accepted. The catch was I had to sh*t on our neighbor’s door-step. It was clear my dad had beef with this woman. She woke in the morning and tried to blame our Chihuahua. My dad yelled at her saying that the sh*t was bigger than our dog. Impossible. The point is I don’t feel bad. Forever daddy’s girl.

“I pretended I was selling something on Craigslist and got two strangers to meet awkwardly.”

Years ago I made a new email address and got two potential buyers for a Playstation that I was pretending to sell. I confirmed a date and time with both of them. Decided on the mall near a certain store. I asked what they’d be wearing so I could find them. I gave them each other’s description for myself, and then went and hung out.

One walked up to the other. You could tell there was an immediate confusion. They started arguing over who had what. You could see them get pissed once they realized what happened and wasted their time. They both stormed off on their phones. Sure enough, I got angry emails from both of them lol

I feel kind of bad about it, but it was a funny interaction to witness.

“I’ve been replacing my wife’s coffee with decaf for four years.”

My wife and I have been married for four years. When we met, she was a tiny little terror. Like the Tasmanian Devil had a baby with Barbie. So freaking adorable and sweet, but she was a tornado. She drank like 6 cups of coffee every single day. If you didn’t know her you would swear she was on drugs. I loved her so much that I knew I could put up with it if I had to, but if I didn’t have to, I would try to find a way.

The month before our wedding I decided to try replacing her coffee with decaf for to see if it made a change. And Lord have mercy, it was incredible. It was hell the first two weeks. She had the biggest attitude and was so crabby, but I knew we could make it through it. Afterwards it was the best! She was still sweet, and spunky, and adorable, but she wasn’t leaving a trail of destruction behind her anymore.

I decided that from that moment on, I would no longer supply her with regular coffee. I would make every Starbucks run, I would buy regular and decaf ground coffee so I could replace the regular coffee in the package with decaf coffee. The only time she has regular coffee is when she orders it herself, which is like maybe once a week. But it makes her really jittery and she doesn’t understand why.

See all the rest HERE!

quizzicalcontent:

Whose Quote Is It? Kim Kardashian or Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Life is not fair, but we can choose to be
fair humans even if life or other humans choose to be unfair to us.

We give because someone gave to us.
We give because nobody gave to us.

We give because giving has changed us.
We give because giving could have changed us.

For I myself am best when least in company.

myownprivatebelljar:

“Those who know what it’s like in the dark will do anything to stay in the light.”

— Victoria Aveyard, King’s Cage

myownprivatebelljar:

“I’m not good. I don’t know why people have to pretend to be good, nobody’s good.”

— Tennessee Williams, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof

Books were safer than other people anyway.

I like drinking coffee alone and reading alone. I like riding the bus alone and walking home alone. It gives me time to think and set my mind free. I like eating alone and listening to music alone. But when I see a mother with her child, a girl with her lover, or a friend laughing with their best friend, I realize that even though I like being alone, I don’t fancy being lonely.

Do not expect people to tell you the truth because they also lie to themselves.